Due to the length of this story and my 30-minute daily writing limit, I wrote it over the course of six days. Instead of publishing six separate posts, I decided to combine them into a single one.
Note: I am a Christian and a deeply spiritual person, so some parts of this story might not make sense without keeping that in mind.
Soon after Paul and I started dating again, I got the opportunity of a lifetime - to be a travelling sales rep for a perfume company. The company sent out sales reps in teams all over the country and Namibia to do door-to-door perfume sales. The sales reps worked only two weeks a month and made up to R30k per month in commission, which, at the time, was a lot of money.
I thought that finally my dreams of travelling and seeing the world were becoming a reality, so I jumped at the opportunity. Paul was not so enthusiastic, and my father was even less so. When I went for the interview, my father gave me a whole list of questions he wanted answers to; otherwise, he would not allow me to embark on this endeavour. For the first time in my life, I rebelled. I was 20 years old, and I was not letting anyone stand in the way of my dreams.
Paul accompanied me to the interview with the company owner (let's call him Sam), who was almost an hour late. He explained that the reps travel in groups, that the next tour would depart within two weeks to Namibia, and that he would be leading it. The company would pay for all travel costs, accommodation, and meals. It seemed like a dream come true! I got the job since I already had a passport. He assured me that I did not need a work permit, but if I wanted the job, I had to sign the employment contract immediately. The contract stated that if I abandoned a tour or failed to show up for a tour, I would be held responsible for R30k in damages. I knew that if I signed the contract, my father would not be able to stop me because I was past the age of consent.
So I signed it.
I gave my father all the answers he insisted on and he reluctantly let me go. Paul kept telling me that something was off, but he would not stand in my way either. I quit my job at the video store, which graciously allowed me to give two weeks' notice.
Saturday
The day of the tour arrived. My mother took me to the rendezvous point. The moment we left the driveway, I knew with a sickening and gut-wrenching certainty that I had just made a huge mistake. But I signed a contract, and now there was no turning back. I started praying that everything would work out.
When I got to the rendezvous point, I was introduced to the rest of the 13-member team. I felt completely out of place, overwhelmed and unsure of myself. When we got into the old VW Combi, one of the men - let's call him Derick - asked me if I would be interested in joining their orgy that night.
"What's that?" I naively asked him.
That caused quite a stir among the group. The whole day on the road I had a foreboding feeling, and I kept praying. It was an uncomfortable journey because I had to endure all of their second-hand smoke and foul language for hours.
It was around 8 p.m. that evening when we finally stopped over in a small town. We stopped at a local inn and were all given an advance on our commissions. This was when I found out that the company "pays" for travel, accommodation, and meals, but then deducts the costs from our commissions afterwards.
After check-in, we all met in the inn pub. Because we had hardly stopped anywhere, I had had nothing to eat since breakfast. The pub's kitchen was closed and could only provide a small pie.
Then the group decided it was time to initiate me.
I grew up in a very protective home where smoking and alcohol were not allowed. Even after I left school and started working at the restaurant, I avoided the smoking areas and stayed away from alcohol. When the group decided to initiate me, the challenge was that I had to drink whatever they gave me.
The first drink they gave me was a shot of tequila. This was followed by a shooter, which, in turn, was followed by a small bottle (375 ml) of white wine. And, of course, there was my cup of coffee. I honestly expected that I would get really drunk, but I felt fine. A while later, they insisted that I dance with some of the local men. That was when I put my foot down, said good night, and left. They insisted that I have one more drink - a shot of Stroh rum. But when I smelled the rum, I was immediately appalled by the smell of liquorice - I hate liquorice. So, I gave the Stroh rum to Derick.
When I got to the room, I found one of the ladies in bed reading - let's call her Rose. Rose had a stern talk with me and warned me to never join the group in a pub again. She told me that none of them - not even she - could be trusted. The initiation was intended to get me drunk so they could get blackmail material on me. That, she explained, was how Sam controlled his employees, kept them quiet about whatever happened on a tour, and prevented them from leaving. It was the only reason she was still with them - he had something on her as well. She urged me to finish the tour and not to return.
We talked for a while, and she told me that her mother was in Namibia, managing a game reserve in Tsumeb. Afterwards, I went to shower and got ready for bed. Once I finished, I made sure the door was locked, and as I reached for the light switch, I heard my inner voice say: "You've been protected until now, but you have to learn that you cannot drink like that without consequences."
I switched off the light.
The drunkenness hit me all at once. I floated to the bed, and then it felt as if I was falling down a never-ending pit. I lay down, and even as I slept a dreamless sleep, it felt as if I kept falling and falling...
Then, still falling in a dreamless dream, I heard a loud male voice in my head order me: "Amanda! Wake up!"
I woke up.
Sunday
I woke up during the early morning hours to find a man climbing on top of me. I was completely paralyzed; even my vocal cords were paralyzed. I could not move, I could not scream, and with all my strength, I managed a faint whisper and asked him, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
The man was startled, mumbled an apology, and said that "they" told him that I was waiting for him. Then he jumped up and ran away. The weight of what had almost happened weighed heavily on me for a few seconds until I remembered the voice that woke me up. I felt a deep spiritual connection and gratitude for being protected in this way. I tried to move, but I could not. I remained paralyzed for what felt like over an hour.
I noticed that the room door was left wide open. I wondered how it had gotten open in the first place because I distinctly remembered locking it. Then I noticed that Rose was not in the room. Derick lay in her bed, drunk and passed out. We were the only two people in the room.
After I was able to move again, I got up and locked the door. I went back to sleep and woke fully alert at 6 a.m. I did not have a hangover and was bothered by what had transpired in the room earlier. I showered, got dressed, and went out to look for Rose, hoping to confront her. She was nowhere to be found. I found my way back to the pub, where I had breakfast and talked to the owner, who told me that after I left, a bar fight broke out between our group and the local men. I was appalled by the group's behavior. I was joined by one of the ladies from the group - let's call her Alice. Together, we went in search of Sam, hoping to find out what time we would be leaving for Namibia.
When we found Sam, I learned two upsetting things: The first was that he was a married man having an affair with one of the ladies from the group. The second was that the trip was postponed since one of the local men from the bar fight, for some inexplicable reason, had invited the group to a BBQ for the day.
We checked out and went to the local man's house, where there was an open bar, and the drinking started before the morning was even over. The only sober ones were me, Rose, and Sam's second-in-command - let's call him Henk. Henk did not drink because he was the designated backup driver. The three of us kept each other company, and it soon became clear that Henk was infatuated with me. It was not long before all the ladies started to make a fuss and kept telling me how great he was and how cute we looked together. All the alarm bells went off in my head, and before I could stop myself, I told them I was spoken for - I was engaged.
Of course, this little lie triggered my guilt and paranoia. As it turned out, the lady Sam was having an affair with was engaged to the brother of my colleague at the video store, and Alice was my colleague's cousin. I could only imagine one of them asking her about my engagement, and heaven forbid she then congratulated Paul's unsuspecting mother! So, I went off in search of a public phone box. In those days, towns had public phone boxes readily available on the main streets. I found a phone box and phoned Paul. I told him that if anyone asked, we were engaged. Alarmed, he wanted to know, "What is going on?" and I told him not to worry - I was just protecting myself from unwanted attention, and he should please warn his mother.
By 8 p.m., I was quite frustrated. I was sitting in the lounge, surrounded by drunk people, waiting for Henk to return with news about when we would be resuming our trip to Namibia. The next moment, Sam came bursting in after skinny-dipping, completely naked, and announced that we would be staying over at one of their newfound friends' farms. You just cannot unsee that!
We left soon afterwards, and when we arrived on the farm, I picked the one room in the house that only had a carpet and no furniture. I told Henk that I would not share a room with anyone, and he made sure that I had the room to myself. He sat there talking with me for a while and then made a pass at me. I told him that I love my fiancé and would not do anything to hurt him, so this was not going to happen. He accepted it and respected my boundaries. I went to bed—praying.
Monday
The next morning, we were served an authentic farm breakfast, complete with biltong. After breakfast, our host left for work, and Sam informed the group that we would only be leaving for Namibia that evening so we could cross the border after midnight. The group resumed drinking, and I withdrew to my room.
I decided to sleep the whole day, but after a while, I woke up feeling utterly nauseous. I could hardly keep anything down, and pretty soon, I had no energy to even get up. Derick checked on me and asked if I was okay. I told him that I was ill, and he just commented, "Ag, shame!" He left me alone and did not tell anyone I was sick. By 8 p.m., the group was ready to leave and, for the first time, realized that they hadn't seen me the entire day. Derick told them, matter-of-factly, that I'd been sick all day, and they were upset with him for not telling them sooner. They found me in my room, weak and dehydrated, and started feeding me flat Coke. They made a bed for me in the back of the combi, and we finally set off for Namibia.
As soon as we reached the border, Sam told us that under no circumstances were we to mention that we were entering Namibia to sell perfumes because we didn't have work permits. We were ordered to say that we were students from Stellenbosch on our way to Tsumeb for team-building. I had a silent tantrum. I didn't know what to do. He lied to me. He told me we didn't need work permits, and I believed him. If I told the border police the truth, I might end up stranded at the border—or worse, deported. I was a tourism management student; I could kiss away any chance of a tourism career if I got myself deported. I had no idea what I was going to say once I got inside. But it didn't matter because I was so weak I could hardly walk, let alone speak. The officers thought I was just really sleepy and stamped my passport without any questions.
Tuesday
The next morning, we arrived in Mariental with barely any travel money left. They had spent it all on alcohol. Sam had just enough money to book two hotel rooms so we could all shower and get dressed to hit the streets selling perfumes. He dropped me off at a local doctor's office.
When the doctor examined me, he got really angry and asked me how long I'd been smoking. I said that I didn't smoke, and he told me my lungs wouldn't sound the way they did if I were a non-smoker. I explained that I'd been inhaling 12 people's second-hand smoke since that Saturday. I was diagnosed with acute gastro and a lung infection. He warned me that, in my condition, even a single cigarette could cause permanent lung damage. He wrote Sam a letter explaining that I was not allowed near smoke.
Sam read the letter, tore it up, and said, "Then you'll just have to go sit on the roof."
Sam left me in the hotel lounge to recover for the day while everyone else canvassed the business district. The reps worked from the start of business to 9 p.m., canvassing the business districts by day and the residential neighborhoods at night. They worked in pairs at night, but if someone did not make their daytime target, the punishment was to work the evening shift alone—regardless of the danger. That evening, I was paired with Derick for training, and we had to walk from farm to farm to sell perfumes.
Then I heard the sales pitch. I was horrified. He told the customers that we were students from Stellenbosch selling perfumes for extra money and that the perfumes were genuine, popular brand-name products damaged in transport, sold to the company, and rebottled under different names. At the same time, we had to ask every household if they could spare accommodation for the evening for 13 "students from Stellenbosch." I knew I was in trouble. Lying like this would give me an ulcer before I hit 25! Most people chased us away, and at one point, someone even threatened to set their dogs on us. I am terrified of dogs!
The group made no sales, and no one was willing to accommodate 13 people. So, we drove all night to Windhoek, where Sam looked up an old friend who used to work with him. Let's call her Sally. It was the early morning hours when Sam woke Sally and her husband to ask for accommodation for 13 people. She was surprised but delighted to see him. She gave him the spare room, and the rest of us slept in the lounge.
Wednesday
Despite our lack of sleep, we were up early, preparing to canvas Windhoek. Concerned, Sally warned Sam not to send the women into the city alone. Windhoek was experiencing a high crime rate, and it was just too dangerous. Sam ignored her warnings and dropped each of us at different points—alone.
I was left in an industrial area. When Sam checked on me later that morning, I had made no sales. He decided I needed more training and teamed me up with Alice. Using the same boilerplate sales pitch, Alice focused her efforts on men, employing flirtation and dressing seductively. She was completely the wrong person to train me. I could never flirt with strange men or dress provocatively. The men were friendly, but their secretaries and PAs saw her approach coming a mile away. Some asked to see our work permits, while others threatened to report us to the police. Yet, we (or rather, she) made the daily target, so we worked the residential area together that evening.
Later that evening, Sam tallied the day's sales and was so delighted with the results that he decided a celebration at the local pub was in order. He also declared that we would have the next day off to relax. This time, I heeded Rose's advice and declined to go. Instead, I went to bed.
In the early morning hours, the entire neighborhood was awakened by loud music coming from the combi, and the household was disrupted by a massive fight among some of the group members. One of the ladies stormed out and went to sleep by the outside gate. Sam declared he’d had enough. This group was too difficult, and he announced that he was sending two of us home. We had until the morning to decide who would leave.
"Thank God," I thought. "I'm volunteering. I'm going home."
Thursday
Sally’s family was holding a memorial service that morning for a presumed-deceased relative. When their guests began arriving, they were appalled to find someone sleeping by the gate. The group’s antics caused Sally’s family a fair amount of embarrassment. Later, while nibbling on half a biscuit for breakfast (all I could stomach in a day) and discussing Sam’s outburst, I told Sally that I planned to volunteer to leave. Alice and Rose overheard me and immediately tried to talk me out of it. They warned me that Sam would become furious, yell at me, threaten me, and likely leave me stranded in Windhoek without accommodation, transport, or money. Sally was shocked. She insisted that the Sam she knew would never behave that way and offered to speak with him herself.
Trusting my instincts, I slipped away to the nearest Spar store. I asked the management if I could make an international call to South Africa, promising to pay for the call. They graciously allowed me to call my mother. I explained the situation and asked her to contact a family friend - a captain in the SAPS - to see if they could help get me home if Sam abandoned me. After the call, when I offered to pay, the Spar management refused to take my money.
When I returned, Sam was awake, and I went with Sally to talk to him. You need to understand - because of my social anxiety, anyone yelling or screaming at me usually leaves me overwhelmed with fear. My heart races, my body freezes, and my hands and face become numb and tingly. If Alice and Rose were right, this confrontation was bound to be a disaster.
They were right. Sam exploded with rage. He yelled, screamed, humiliated, and threatened me. His tantrum was so loud and dramatic that everyone came in to watch the commotion. But as he raged on, I just stood there, staring at him. Fearless. I wasn’t scared at all! His words, his anger - they didn’t touch me. To me, he was just a mouse with a microphone. I was amazed by the peace I felt in that moment.
Afterwards, I told Rose that I was not afraid of this man. She warned me that he had friends in high places and that he would ruin my life.
I just smiled and replied, “Not nearly as High as I have.”
When Rose learned I was heading back to Spar, she insisted on coming with me. Her mother had found out we were in Namibia and invited us to spend the weekend at the game reserve - all expenses paid. Rose wanted to call her mom to warn her about the group’s drinking and behavior.
The Spar management let me make another international call to my mother, free of charge. I updated her, and she assured me that our police friend would assist if needed. But when Rose tried to make a local call to her mother in Tsumeb, the staff refused. They wouldn’t even let her pay for it. The change in their attitude was baffling.
When we returned, I found out that Sam had ordered the group to give me the silent treatment. No one was allowed to speak or interact with me. When Sally’s husband learned about Sam’s behavior, he was livid. He declared that no man would treat a woman like that in his house and told Sam to leave. Sally and her husband removed me from the hostile environment and let me stay in their children’s room. That evening, Sally took me to her neighbor, who had a phone. She called my parents and promised them that she would personally ensure I got home safely. She also contacted our police friend, who asked if I knew where the group was headed next. I told him they were leaving for Tsumeb the next day.
Friday
The next morning Sam and the group left without so much as a goodbye. Henk made sure that I got a bus ticket home, but other than that they left me behind with no money. Sally made sure I got on the bus and gave me pocket money for snacks.
At the border later that evening, I considered reporting Sam and the group to the authorities, but my inner voice intervened: “Relax. It’s taken care of.”
Saturday
When I arrived in Mossel Bay on Saturday evening, my parents and Paul were waiting for me at the bus station. After a huge bear hug, Paul said, “I’m not taking no for an answer! You’ve already told everyone we’re engaged - so now we’re engaged!” And just like that, we were unofficially engaged.
Epilogue
A few days later, I asked our police friend if the SAPS had managed to do anything about Sam and his group. He explained that they had no jurisdiction but had alerted the Windhoek police. I felt disappointed - I had been hoping for some form of justice.
For my part, I didn’t get off lightly. I learned an expensive lesson about the value of my father’s advice. I lost 10 kilograms during that week and couldn’t eat normally for three months. A few weeks later, I had my first asthma attack and have suffered from asthma ever since. That experience also left me with a deep fear of cold-calling or approaching people, especially potential clients. I’m fine when people approach me, but initiating contact? Absolutely not.
Ironically, about a month later, I responded to a classified ad for a job with Sam’s competitor. As soon as the man told me what the job entailed, I declined, and he asked me if I had been part of Sam's crew. He assured me that they did ethical business and told me that Sam and his group had been arrested in Namibia after they had encountered a roadblock on their way to Tsumeb.
It was taken care of, after all.